Tech Layoffs are a Strange Beast

Well, shit!

I’m sitting at my desk hacking away at adding a new attribute to a GraphQL call for the various flows through the funnel. The idea was to test using a new taxonomy service in the qualifications section of the job posting funnel. I was placed onto this specific task because our lead had a few days of PTO, and I had just familiarized myself with the considerable amount of documentation from engineering and the lengthy notes from product in the Jira epic description. This wasn’t going to be too difficult to pull off as, with most enterprise software changes in very large and complex code bases, finding where to make the changes was often the most difficult part of the task.

I hear a text message notification so I glance over at my phone. It was from a previous manager of mine that was laid off last year, and I hadn’t chatted with him in several months so I was curious to read it. I see “Just saw the news. You safe?” Uh, what? After a couple of seconds passed, my heart sank and the adrenaline kicked into overdrive! When your company seems to have developed a pattern of laying people off every year, you kind of stay sort of fearful for the next round. My mind was going a thousand miles a minute. I frantically looked at the left side of my massive list of Chrome tabs because I know that’s where I keep my Gmail tab. I find it. Ok, there’s the email from the new CEO announcing layoffs. Oh shit, there’s the one that says “Your position was impacted”. It happened. I’d survived the rounds of layoffs the past few years, but my days of dodging that bullet had finally come to an end.

I sat there in a stupor for a minute or two and tried to read the email. My brain wasn’t really processing much at that moment. I opened up Signal to let my wife know what I just learned. My hands began to shake a little bit and I started to take some deep breaths because I realized that the anxiety I got under control many years ago was taking ahold of me once again. The laundry list of things I thought I needed to do next popped into my mind. Where do I start? I shook it off for a second, grabbed my phone, walked outside to get some air and some sunlight, put my hands over my head, and just walked around in my driveway for a minute.

My text notifications started to sound off. I glanced again and it was more ex-Indeedians I used to work with and kept in-touch with asking if I was safe. At that moment, I realized that while the answer to their question was an obvious “no”, it went beyond that simple answer as my sense of safety and security on a larger scale was just ripped out from underneath me. What was about to happen to our insurance? What does the severance package look like? How long is it going to take for me to get through the interview process for a handful of companies before I get an offer I would be happy to accept? My mind was racing, and none of what was racing through it was really helping to de-escalate that situation.

Ok, just breathe!

After surviving the first round of layoffs at Indeed, I decided to insulate myself from this possibility as much as possible. I’d always kept my overhead relatively low compared to my income, which allowed me to start saving as much as I could stomach until I had enough in savings to live on for at least six months. To sweeten the deal, I switched to a locally owned credit union offering 5% interest on savings accounts up to a certain limit. I maxed it out and earned some extra cash.

After reading the severance package, I realized I’d be getting a few months’ pay on top of that, plus some COBRA insurance coverage for a while. Okay, things aren’t so bad. The sense of security is gone as I no longer have a source of income, but my preparation combined with the severance was buying me nearly a year before needing another income stream.

Now, don’t misunderstand me: I by no means want to take much time finding another employer. My preference would be to not even touch my savings. It’s there for a rainy day, and while it might be pouring cats and dogs right now, I know there could be more storms in my future and I’d like to still have an umbrella. Better safe than sorry!

Okay, so I can tighten my belt a bit. That’ll stretch things even more! Goodbye, Retro Game Treasure subscription. I’ll cancel pest control until I have income again. My wife loves her yoga studio, but we have a garage gym she can use for a while. These were some of the things I started considering, along with many other expenses I could do without for at least a little while.

Then it got more complex. Do I cancel my yard spraying service? They only come every couple of months, and it doesn’t cost that much, but it’s easier to maintain a healthy, weed-free yard than fix one that’s already in a bad state. What about my Cursor Pro plan? I’ve always been a bit of a doomer when it comes to AI and code, but I’d just started using Cursor since I figured I needed to learn how to use an AI coding assistant to ensure that I had the knowledge of how I could use one. Do I cancel that or continue learning how to integrate it into my workflow to ensure I have that knowledge for job interviews? These were minor decisions compared to everything else I needed to consider.

More and more things demanding my attention popped up—it wasn’t a short list. My mind was calming down once again, and the clarity began to come back. I kept telling myself “you’re a smart dude and this is a temporary setback”. I knew that to be true, but I was in uncharted territory. Somehow, I’d always managed to sense when my time was about to be up and I left before it could happen. A few months after leaving R4 and IBM, both companies did massive layoffs that affected everyone in my position. Sometimes, I felt like Neo in The Matrix, dodging bullets from Agent Smith in slow motion. I wasn’t “the one” though, I just happened to have some stupid luck in the past and I knew it. That luck had finally run out. Now, I just needed to more fully assess the situation and determine the best path forward. While there was definitely some concern there, the logical side of me began to take control once again. Be cool, calm, and calculated—that’s how I typically function.

The anger began to hit, but something very unexpected showed up as well…

“Ok, so screw you, Indeed!” If someone denies the anger that comes with this situation, they’re lying—to themselves or others. Anger is a natural reaction to a lot of situations. What separates mature folks from immature ones is knowing how to control it.

I thought about how some of the tools I’d built for Indeed had potentially saved them tens of millions of dollars. How many experiments I’d worked on had generated more job posts and sponsorships. How could they deem me unnecessary? How could they not see my value? These are the kinds of thoughts that fuel rage—and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pretty angry at first.

Interestingly, that anger died down fairly quickly. It wasn’t fully gone — I’m not sure it ever will be — but it had dropped from a 9 to a 2 or 3 in no time. Okay, so I accepted this as one of the shitty parts of working in tech. What can you do? It happens to folks WAY more talented and smarter than me, so it was almost inevitable that it would happen to me at least once. I hate it, but I can accept it.

I realized only a couple hours had passed since receiving the news. My work laptop was still open; I’d already said goodbye to colleagues and saved their contact info in my notes app. The emotions hitting me were more under control now, so I focused on tying up loose ends — backing up files like paystubs and draft severance letters — before my laptop locked me out for good.

Then came the unexpected part: pacing back and forth in my driveway while calling family to break the news. My first call was to my dad — and yes, I was still a little emotional (I tried to push it down as I tend to do). By the time I called my mom, my tone had already flattened. When I called my sister I was almost playful. I even cracked jokes during that call and smiled when we hung up.

Back inside, I peeked into my home office. There was that smile again, but even bigger this time. In a moment of exceptional self-awareness, I realized it felt like a burden had lifted. Sure, I’d just taken on more BS to carry around, but this strange sense of relief persisted.

At first, I dismissed it as temporary insanity given the situation, but the feeling didn’t subside. In fact, it grew stronger. In my stubbornness, I tried to ignore it, but it only deepened.

Then, it finally hit me: After Indeed’s first round of layoffs a few years ago, the office dynamic had shifted forever. The dread and anticipation that followed were palpable — every unexpected meeting sent ripples of fear through the office. Even if months passed without another announcement, all it took was one offhand comment about layouts elsewhere (e.g., “Did you see Microsoft just laid off 2,500 people?”) to bring that dread roaring back.

But now? For the first time in years, that weight was gone. I’d taken on new baggage, sure, but it wasn’t the same crushing fear I’d been carrying around for years. I’d underestimated how much that dread had affected me, until now.

I think it’s going to be alright!

At the time of writing this, it’s been a week since I was laid off from what I hoped to be the last company I ever worked for. I always knew it was unreasonable to think that, in this day and age, I could actually survive at a tech company for decades and retire there — but that’s still what I wanted at this point in my life. I’m not a spring chicken; I have a family; and I’ve been thinking a lot about how the hell I’ll ever retire someday. It would have been nice to ride this out in one spot, letting those RSUs keep vesting. Since I was pretty happy at my position at Indeed and I didn’t need more money (more is always nice, but I was really comfortable), I wasn’t looking for work elsewhere.

And let’s be real: the job search process for software engineers has to be one of the worst things I’ve ever endured — and I’ve survived cancer twice! Lemme balance that binary tree or create a linked list data structure in JavaScript so you can hire me to create front-ends in React and throw together some GraphQL backends in Node. Yeah, that makes sense! It makes as much sense as asking a NASCAR driver to win an F1 race. The skills are similar, but the application is different. Someone doing one thing will almost never use the skills it takes to do the other thing. They can learn it, but if they don’t use it regularly, they’ll forget it until forced to re-learn it yet again. Rinse and repeat every time you have to look for a new job as a software engineer.

I took advantage of the career coach and resume service provided in my severance. That service also has an application tracker which I’ve utilized to record the applications I’ve submitted so far. LinkedIn has been the site I hate to love right now as I’ve been using it almost exclusively for finding jobs I deem a good fit and applying to those jobs. I really dislike LinkedIn (and all social networks, for that matter), but I’ve always kept a profile because it does provide some value when looking for a new position. Once I feel like I’ve exhausted what LinkedIn has to offer right now, I’ll branch out to some other sites to continue my quest for employment. If the job search process were to be viewed as a quest in an RPG game, LinkedIn would be like a dagger or bow in the sense that if you roll a 20 then things will go in your favor, but you’re almost certainly just going to be doing minimal damage for a while until that 20 finally hits.

In the past couple of hours, I decided to add this blog to my portfolio, style it up a bit, and write this post — and I’ve already gotten a LinkedIn message regarding what an ex-colleague considered to be an open position that is a good fit for me and a Slack message from a buddy providing more resume feedback. Don’t underestimate the power of your network! I told my wife that you can only go as far as your network reaches, but I’m being reminded multiple times a day that those same dear folks I’ve chosen to let into my life have my back — and that is priceless!

It will be ok! I already have an interview for a position this coming Monday morning, and that position seems like a perfect fit with a nice paycheck. Realistically speaking, I feel like we all do a countless number of interviews before we get an offer that we are willing to accept, but I refuse to prevent myself from allowing a bit of excitement and optimism to creep in right now. Who knows, maybe they wil think I’m a good fit, I’ll think they’re a good fit for me, and this all ends much faster than it statistically should have? That’s doubtful, but not impossible. Project what you want into the universe and I 100% believe it is more likely to happen!

I’ve got a plan of attack. I’m financially stable for at least the near future, and I don’t anticipate the job search extending beyond that period. I have amazing people in my life that are constantly giving me leads, feedback, and support. Most surprising of all, I feel optimistic about the future and as if a heavy burden has been lifted.

I think things will work out. That’s not to say it will be easy or pleasant, but it’ll be ok.

What advice would I give to someone else who was laid off from a tech company?

Well, I just got laid off and I haven’t yet determined where the journey will take me, but I’ve got a few things I’d pass on to others in a similar situation.

• Being overprepared is better than not being prepared at all. While I was ready for this from a financial aspect, I now see the value in keeping your LinkedIn profile up-to-date and having your resume ready to ship. I lost a couple of days getting those things done, and I’m still not 100% satisfied with my resume.
• Work on your job search each day for the same amount of time you would have been working for an employer. Getting an engineering job can take a lot of time, and tech interviews require preparation. If you sat at your desk 9 hours a day for work, consider that your new job is finding work, and spend 9 hours a day on your search. Make sure to split your time well between the various things you need to do to make that next opportunity become present itself and become the next phase of your journey.
• If you get a severance package, don’t view it as an opportunity to take a long vacation. Start getting the ball rolling right away. Maybe you get 4 months of pay, but it takes you 4 months to find your next job? If you waste 2 months traveling or relaxing or wallowing in self-pity, you’ll definitely have to use funds outside of your severance. So why risk it? Heck, I’m actually trying to get a job before burning through even half of my severance because that would mean my layoff actually benefitted me in the long run and wasn’t a bad thing. This would be especially true if I like my next job more than my last one. The stress might have added some gray hairs to my beard, but why should I care about that?
• Don’t hold onto the negative feelings from being laid off. You’re justified in feeling anger, regret, anxiety, etc for a while, but you can’t hold onto that forever. There’s a silver lining in everything if you look hard enough. It isn’t your fault this happened. That’s what you have to keep in mind. This is a result of a failing company or greed or a consultancy firm becoming a large shareholder and demanding layoffs all the time, etc., but it wasn’t because of anything you did or didn’t do (probably).
• Don’t be too proud to ask for help. As an engineer, I’ve identified this as one of my central weaknesses — I often wait too long to ask for another set of eyes in the rare event I’m stumped on something. But since this layoff hit, I haven’t hesitated to ask friends for help, and they haven’t hesitated to support me in every way they could. We’re all part of this human experience together so we might as well help each other out when we can. If you’re in a position to help someone else, do it!
• This is probably just a temporary setback. In a few months, you’ll almost certainly have a new job, some new friends, and a new routine. This period will seem like a weird blip in the distant past. Right now, I fully expect this period of unemployment to feel like it’s lasting forever while I’m in the middle of it, but that will pass!
• If you’re a code slinger by trade, spend at least some time working on a project you enjoy. You want to keep your skills polished — coding challenges and tech interviews will help with that — but you should also work on something else. Don’t spend too much time on it, but you need to do a programming project you enjoy to remind yourself that you’re lucky to do something you like. I set up this blog in about 30 minutes then started typing out this post, and time has flown by! Tomorrow, I will finish up some details with the implementation and publish it. Plus, doing something like this helps establish your brand while also giving you another thing to talk about in interviews. Heck, I’m even finding it therapeutic in some weird way I can’t articulate at the moment.

It’ll be ok. Really, it will. Until that day comes when we’re all replaced by AI and robots, it’ll be ok. And I think that day is much farther off than most want us to believe. In the meantime, stay focused and disciplined. This, too, shall pass.